Physical Safety

• Identify safe areas of the house where there are no weapons and there are ways to escape. If arguments occur, try to move to those areas.
• Don’t run to where the children are, as your partner may hurt them as well.
• If violence is unavoidable, make yourself a small target. Dive into a corner and curl up into a ball with your face protected and arms around each side of your head, fingers entwined.
• If possible, have a phone accessible at all times and know what numbers to call for help. Know where the nearest public phone is located. Know the phone number to your local shelter. If your life is in danger, call the police.
• Let trusted friends and neighbours know of your situation and develop a plan and visual signal or code word for when you need help.
• Teach your children how to get help. Instruct them not to get involved in the violence between you and your partner. Plan a code word to signal to them that they should get help or leave the house.
• Tell your children that violence is never right, even when someone they love is being violent. Tell them that neither you, nor they, are at fault or are the cause of the violence, and that when anyone is being violent, it is important to stay safe.
• Practice how to get out safely. Practice with your children.
• Plan for what you will do if your children tells your partner of your plan or if your partner otherwise finds out about your plan.
• Keep weapons like guns and knives locked away and as inaccessible as possible.
• Make a habit of backing the car into the driveway and keeping it fueled. Keep the driver’s door unlocked and others locked — for a quick escape.
• Try not to wear scarves or long jewelry that could be used to strangle you.
• Create several plausible reasons for leaving the house at different times of the day or night.

Emotional Safety

Often, emphasis is placed on planning around physical safety, but it’s important to consider your emotional safety as well. Emotional safety can look different for different people, but ultimately it’s about developing a personalized plan that helps you feel accepting of your emotions and decisions when dealing with abuse. Below are some ideas for how to create and maintain an emotional safety plan that works for you.

Seek Out Supportive People: A caring presence such as a trusted friend or family member can help create a calm atmosphere to think through difficult situations and allow for you to discuss potential options.

Identify and Work Towards Achievable Goals: An achievable goal might be calling a local resource and seeing what services are available in your area, or talking to one of our advocates at The Hotline. Remember that you don’t have to do anything you aren’t comfortable with right now, but taking small steps can help options feel more possible when you are ready.

Create a Peaceful Space for Yourself: Designating a physical place where your mind can relax and feel safe can be good option when working through difficult emotions that can arise when dealing with abuse. This can be a room in your house, a spot under your favorite tree, a comfy chair by a window or in a room with low lights.

Remind Yourself of Your Great Value: You are important and special, and recognizing and reminding yourself of this reality is so beneficial for your emotional health. It is never your fault when someone chooses to be abusive to you, and it has no reflection on the great value you have as person.

Remember That You Deserve to Be Kind to Yourself: Taking time to practice self-care every day, even if it is only for a few minutes, really creates space for peace and emotional safety. It’s healthy to give yourself emotional breaks and step back from your situation sometimes. In the end, this can help you make the decisions that are best for you.

Please check out our service map, click here

Facts About Gender-Based Violence

“Women in Canada live at greater risk than men of domestic violence, sexual assault and harassment, and sex trafficking.

Why is it urgent to address gender-based violence?

• Because it costs women their lives: approximately every six days, a woman in Canada is killed by her intimate partner.
• Violence against women costs taxpayers and the government billions of dollars every year: Canadians collectively spend $7.4 billion to deal with the aftermath of spousal violence alone.
• It has a profound effect on children: Children who witness violence in the home have twice the rate of psychiatric disorders as children from non-violent homes.

HERE ARE SOME COMMONLY ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN:

1. Since crime rates in Canada are falling, is violence against women still a serious problem?

•  All Canadians pay a steep price for violence against women. It’s estimated that each year, Canadians collectively spend $7.4 billion to deal with the aftermath of spousal violence alone, according to the Department of Justice. This figure includes immediate costs, such as emergency room visits and related costs, such as loss of income. It also includes tangible costs such as funerals, and intangible costs such as pain and suffering.
• Half of all women in Canada have experienced at least one incident of physical or sexual violence since the age of 16.
• 67% of all Canadians say they have personally known at least one woman who has experienced physical or sexual abuse.
• Approximately every six days, a woman in Canada is killed by her intimate partner. Out of the 83 police-reported intimate partner homicides in 2014, 67 of the victims—over 80%—were women.
• On any given night in Canada, 3,491 women and their 2,724 children sleep in shelters to escape abuse.
• On any given night in Canada, about 300 women and children are turned away because shelters are already full.
• There were 1,181 cases of missing or murdered Aboriginal women in Canada between 1980 and 2012, according to the RCMP. However, according to grassroots organizations and the Minister of the Status of Women the number is much higher, closer to 4,000.
• Aboriginal women are killed at six times the rate of non-aboriginal women.
• Women are at greater risk of experiencing elder abuse from a family member, accounting for 60% of senior survivors of family violence.
• Rates of violence against women vary widely across Canada. As is the case with violent crime overall, the territories have consistently recorded the highest rates of police-reported violence against women. The rate of violent crime against women in Nunavut in 2011 was nearly 13 times higher than the rate for Canada. Saskatchewan and Manitoba, which have consistently recorded the highest provincial rates of police-reported violent crime, had rates of violence against women in 2011 that were about double the national rate. Ontario and Quebec had the lowest rates of violence against women.
• Cyber violence, which includes online threats, harassment, and stalking, has emerged as an extension of violence against women. Young women (age 18-24) are most likely to experience online harassment in its most severe forms, including stalking, sexual harassment and physical threats.

2. Isn’t there less domestic violence now than in the past?

• Like most violent crime in Canada, rates of police-reported domestic violence have fallen over time. This decline is partly due to increased social equality and financial freedom for women, which makes it easier for them to leave abusive relationships at earlier stages. It is also due to years of effort by groups who are working to end domestic violence. Their achievements include improved public awareness, more treatment programs for violent men, improved training for police officers and Crown attorneys, having the police lay charges rather than the victim, more coordination of community services, and the creation of domestic violence legislation in some areas of Canada.
• It’s also important to remember that the rate of domestic violence is likely much higher than we know; 70% of spousal violence is not reported to the police. Despite the decline, some disturbing trends are emerging:
• Calgary police report that domestic violence has increased in the wake of Alberta’s economic downturn. A similar link between an increase in domestic violence and the provincial economy has been noted in Newfoundland.
• New research shows that domestic violence rates increase following natural disasters like floods, wildfires and hurricanes. After Hurricane Katrina for example, violence between partners rose by 98%. Women are particularly vulnerable during times of crisis, when women’s shelters may have to close, and social services are stretched by increased demand. Given that Canada has its share of natural disasters, such as the 2016 wildfires in Fort McMurray, Alberta, the 2013 flood in Calgary, or the Manitoba floods of 2009 and 2011, this research points to the need for increased awareness and services related to domestic violence during these crises.
• While the proportion of intimate partner homicides committed by a legally married spouse declined between 1994 and 2014, the proportion of intimate partner homicides committed by a common-law, dating or other intimate partner has increased in the same time period.
• A 2015 study suggests that domestic violence can carry over into the workplace, threatening women’s ability to maintain economic independence. More than half (53%) of the respondents who had experienced domestic violence said that at least one type of abusive act happened at or near their workplace. Almost 40% of those who had experienced domestic abuse said it made it difficult for them to get to work, and 8.5% said that they lost their jobs because of it.”

• Myths and Facts on Gender-Based Violence
• Myths and Facts about Sexual Assault and Harassment

Source: Canadian Women’s Foundation (2018). canadianwomen.org

• University of Western Ontario – Centre for Research and Education on Violence Against Women and Children
  • Some courses and webinars offered:
  • http://learningtoendabuse.ca/online-training
    • Domestic Violence in the Workplace
    • Responding to Disclosures of Sexual Violence
    • Domestic Violence Risk Assessment and Management
  • http://www.vawlearningnetwork.ca/ln-kh-webinars
    • From Trauma-Informed to Trauma- and Violence-Informed
    • Partner Violence in Rainbow Communities: What We Know and What We Need to Know

• Ontario Association of Interval and Transition Houses (OAITH)
  • Some courses and webinars offered:
  • http://www.oaith.ca/train/training.html
    • Feminist Anti-Violence Counselling Techniques
    • Sex Work and Harm Reduction
    • For Her Own Good- A Feminists Perspective on Mental Health
    • Voices of Women from the Trans Community
    • Intimate Partner Sexual Violence: Intersection of Sexual Violence and Domestic Violence

• iCarol
  • Some webinars offered:
  • http://www.icarol.com/webinars/
    • Recent Developments in Suicide Prevention for Crisis Centres
    • Introduction to Assisting LGBTQ Help Seekers
    • Texting for Non-Profits: Compliance in a Complex World

• Canadian Women’s Foundation
  • Some webinars offered:
  • http://www.canadianwomen.org/violence-prevention-resources
    • From Heartbreaking to Groundbreaking: Ending Sex Trafficking in Canada
    • Family Law and Violence Against Women
    • Diversity in Youth Programming

• End Violence Against Women International
  • Some webinars offered:
  • http://www.evawintl.org/WebinarArchive.aspx
    • Unsubmitted Sexual Assault Kits: Changing What We Know About Rape
    • Neurobiology of Sexual Assault 2-Part Webinar Series
      • Part 1: Experience and Behaviour
      • Part 2: Experience and Memory
    • Alternative Reporting Options for Sexual Assault: An Overview of the You Have Options Program

• Futures Without Violence
  • Some webinars offered:
  • https://www.futureswithoutviolence.org/resources-events/webinars/
    • Intimate Partner Violence and Pregnancy
    • Trauma-Informed Care for Refugees and Children
    • Labor Trafficking and the Intersection of Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault
    • Domestic Violence, Mental Health, and Substance Use Coercion

• MCIS
  • Some courses and webinars offered:
  • http://helpingtraffickedpersons.org/training/curriculum
    • Human Trafficking
    • Sex Trafficking and Labour Trafficking
    • Service Needs of Trafficked Persons
    • Legal Frameworks
    • Exploitation Spectrum
    • Survivors’ Perspectives